Newman’s Nuances
What does it all mean? What am I doing here? Not just in the larger philosophical sense. What am I doing here in this spot when I could be rooting around in the garbage for […]
Author: PFHardie
I am a graphic designer, humour writer, musician and piano teacher. And that's only during the day. At night I fight crime and hang out with my wonderful family.
Dump “trump”
In the good old days, Greece was the word. Now it’s…Trump? If this megalomaniac becomes POTUS, I’m afraid the regular word, “trump”, will have to be banned. Saying “trump” or “Trump” too often causes cancer. […]
Dream Box Office
Am I binging on binge-watching? Should I send out an HBO SOS? I believe it’s infiltrating my dreams. No longer do I have regular half hour dreams that end and then another dream starts. Currently […]
Trump Poetry
Trump poetry is the best poetry. “To be or not to be, I’ll be great for capital punishment” “How do I love me, let me count the ways” “Chicken is the thing with feathers, not […]
Beer Gardening
Gardening is one of the more frivolous human endeavours. My wife says it’s great exercise. “You lose 100 calories digging a hole.” I lose 300 calories walking to the plant store and gain 150 from […]
A dog, by any other name…
It’s really cute and all to suppose that our household pets understand words. They understand dick-squat. Sorry to ruin the pet party. Sure, Newman will come when I say “Newman”, but he’ll also come […]
Don’t Leave These in a Hot Car
Why do cars get so hot in the summer? The thermometer in my car says it’s 75 outside, but it’s 500 in the car. That’s even hotter than my actual oven gets. Maybe I should drive […]
iDreamofGenie?
It’s a drag when I’m on the subway and I have to clean my iPhone screen, all grimy from fingerprints and spit, so I rub it and rub it on my pants, then have to […]
Did I Ever Tell You Your My Hero?
All my heroes are the great scientists, artists and philosophers of our world. Here are my favourites: Leonardo DiCaprio: I don’t have to tell you how wonderful the Mona Lisa is. You’ve seen it in […]
Earth Report
Beeplob the alien deftly landed his silver ship on home planet. His “Earth” report was five minutes overdue. Thankfully, his Powerpoint presentation was up and running. Dear Leader: Welcome home, son. What say you about […]