Beach ball ice skating??? - Creative Commons: bytegirl24
I was jogging the other day through a park near our home, and I saw a group of kids playing with a beach ball – trying to keep it off the ground.
It got me thinking of concerts I attended in college, when I worked the ticket booth at an amphitheater.
Every show, someone felt it was their civic duty to bring a beach ball to the event and start knocking it around audience.
It seemed appropriate when The Beach Boys performed – not so much, when it was Andrea Bocelli.
That got me thinking about some inappropriate places where beach balls might be less appreciated. Here’s a list:
10. An IRS audit
9. A colonoscopy exam
8. A prison riot
7. Arbitration for a divorce (this one is iffy since a celebration might be in order in some cases.)
6. A root canal
5. Virtually any meeting between Vice President, Joe Biden and President Obama after Biden speaks publicly on a dicey topic, forcing the VP to hop away with his chronic case of foot-in-mouth disease.
4. A typical CIA information gathering session replete with waterboards and fire hoses.
3. Any meeting of the Republican National Committee as they try to identify a viable candidate for this year’s presidential election.
2. The quarterly review of your 401(K) statement.
1. The birth of a child (I’ll have to ask my wife about this one since we’re expecting our third…)
Question: Any other plays where a beach ball might be inappropriate?
Any public men’s rest room where hollering, “Swat the balls” may be misunderstood.
Indeed, definitely not the place for that type of confusion to occur!
I don’t think our priests or most of our congregation would appreciate a beach ball in church during Mass.
It doesn’t fit in very well on a subway train, either, even if the bearers are headed for the beach at Coney Island.
Hah, good one Kathy! I might disagree with some of the NYC trains – there is definitely a circus atmosphere at times when street performers take over a car or those crazy kids from “Fame” (I hate when that happens)!
I spot an opportunity here. You should start something called ‘Where’s the beach ball’. It could be like ‘Where’s Waldo’ except Waldo would be a beach ball. I’m already looking for it.
That’s inspired! If we could somehow work in zombies or vampires we’d have a bestselling franchise!
I would give anything to watch a ball get tossed around at the Republican National Convention. I don’t know why but spontaneous ball playing doesn’t seem to fit. Also, I bet if I brought one to an audit, I would scare the IRS guy/woman enough that they let me off the hook?
That’s genius – forget about an overpriced CPA come tax time, all you need is an inflatable from the dollar store and you’ll be square with Uncle Sam!