I Feel Sho Pretty!
Tag: colonoscopy
I aced my physical exam and you can too
While most of the world was busy making summer vacation plans, I was in the throes of cramming for my physical exam. It’s not like I don’t know a year in advance that this annual assessment […]
My Surefire Two-Day Weight Loss Program
Suppose you simply must lose weight in the next two days. How is this possible you ask? I am glad you asked. I am here to help. The best thing to do is give up […]
Friday Humor Devotional
Dear Lord, I don’t know how to explain to my grandmother that taking selfies while she’s prepping for her colonoscopy does not make her a badass and posting it to Twitter and Instagram with the […]
Friday Humor Devotional
Dear Lord, please help me explain to my overzealous exercise freak of a neighbor that doing his downward dog yoga position directly in front of his huge bay window is not only unattractive, it only […]
I NEED A WHAT?
A colonoscopy. The scary “C” word. Something I have been putting off for awhile. This is what you get for your birthday once you hit fifty. “Hey, happy birthday! Here’s your present—a gift wrapped colonoscopy!” […]
An Asterisk to Dave Barry’s Colonoscopy Essay
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, only this time while sober. I want to be Dave Barry—without the man parts. As a new writer, I kept hearing over and over in my […]
10 Places Beach Balls Are Not Welcome
I was jogging the other day through a park near our home, and I saw a group of kids playing with a beach ball – trying to keep it off the ground. It got me […]
The Beauty Within
We’ve all been taught that it’s not what’s on the outside but beauty starts within. I always thought that was a load of shit. I look at the fashion magazines at the long-legged, blonde, size […]