Put Down Your Dumbbell – Exercise Your Smart Bell Instead
Ever since I was young, competing to earn a spot on my high school’s freshman track team, I have regularly exercised. So much so that when I was 35, I even competed in the New […]
Tag: working out
My Private Workout with Obama
[The following is a 100% partially true story.] People routinely accuse me of telling over-the-top fabricated stories in Humor Outcasts. They make these outrageously unfair accusations just because I may bend the truth a tiny […]
Unicorn Bites #518
4-year-old: Why does the dog pee on stuff? Me: It’s like writing his name on it. 4: So I- Me: YOU HAVE TO — USE PENCILS. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 3, 2014 I didn’t […]
Friday Humor Devotional
Dear Lord, please help me forgive my OCD wife. I don’t mind, while taking an afternoon nap, her trimming my grossly overgrown toenails the exact same height and shape. What I do mind is not […]
Friday Humor Devotional
Dear Lord, please help me explain to my overzealous exercise freak of a neighbor that doing his downward dog yoga position directly in front of his huge bay window is not only unattractive, it only […]
Unicorn Bites 12/17/13
It’s been 19 days and my boss still hasn’t noticed I changed his email status to “away” and his auto-reply message to “Can’t talk. Pooping.” — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 17, 2013 *moves […]
Should I Star in a Workout Video?
I work out a great deal. I go to the gym four to five times a week. I used to swim all the time, but I felt as if I needed to change up my […]