There isn’t a hair styling product made that can shape your hair and keep it in that shape as long as a two-hour nap will.
Dear Lord, please help me forgive my OCD wife. I don’t mind, while taking an afternoon nap, her trimming my grossly overgrown toenails the exact same height and shape. What I do mind is not […]
Wife: A guy at work dropped acid Me: Did he listen to techno & babble about colors? W: No, he was treated for burns Chemists are so lame. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December […]
Of course it’s fine you got me Mega Blocks instead of Legos, Grandma. Like you said, they’re “the same thing.” *burns down her house* — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 2, 2013 3-year-old: Daddy, […]
My 3-year-old wiped out twice in her princess costume's high heels but kept wearing them because they’re pretty. She’s officially a woman. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 25, 2013 My phone hasn’t been […]
I wish it was socially acceptable in the U.S. to take a nap at work. Unfortunately, they frown upon that behavior, especially when it’s done in the conference room in the middle of the […]