Tag: toast
Unicorn Bites #518
4-year-old: Why does the dog pee on stuff? Me: It’s like writing his name on it. 4: So I- Me: YOU HAVE TO — USE PENCILS. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 3, 2014 I didn’t […]
Turn and Serve
I often think about myself. One time I thought about nothing but myself for 17 years, 11 months days, 30 days and 59 minutes. And then without any prior notice, a minute later, I turned […]
Antigravity
This world is stupid and it’s not fair. Jill Y is a Scientist and gets to play with time machines, all the time. I’m not allowed to use the time machine or even touch the […]
Cheers! A Wedding Toast To The Couple You Don’t Like
We’ve all seen it happen: A train wreck of a marriage, headed down a one-way track to Miseryville, with a small layover at Domestic Violence, USA. Whether it’s family, friends, or the librarian we’ve befriended in an effort […]
Thirsty Dave burns lots of bread
When Thirsty Dave does something, he does it with an intensity not seen since that lost Doctor got off the island in the hit television series “Lost”. Lately he’s been eating toast and I’m not […]