Vodka has always made me tipsy especially if it is mixed with a lot of tonic. However, if it is mixed with Triple Sec and cranberry juice and transforms itself into a “Cosmopolitan”, it makes me extremely inebriated – or the technical term – blottoed. I share this information not as a prelude for me going to rehab but because I have learned that despite its reputation as the devil’s drink, vodka has a virtuous side. In fact, according to Stylelist.com, vodka possesses many uses none of which involve me shedding either my inhibitions or my clothes.
Did you know that vodka is a goo remover? Yes, according to Styleist.com, if you have a sticky label or tag, you can wipe said label with vodka and it will dissolve the glue and make the label peel off. What the article does not say, because the magazine assumes we don’t need these extra instructions, is that you should never dab vodka on labels which are on any apparel item you plan to wear immediately. Those who get a whiff might get the wrong impression especially if you are on a job interview or behind the wheel and happen to meet up with a police officer. A cop is going to investigate which might not get you arrested but it will get you at least a breathalyzer and possibly a cavity search. It’s amazing how one dab of vodka can ruin your day. Another caveat:, vodka should never be dabbed on the clothing of anyone who has any type of alcohol problem. There are not enough AA meetings in the world to handle the potential number of vodka-label goo related relapses.
Did you know that vodka is a room deodorizer? The article recommends that you make a solution of one part vodka to one part water and spritz it around the room. It also claims that the room will not smell like a cheap Vegas motel for hookers. Well, those are my words, not theirs, but the imagery is colorful, right? I am going to try this unique air freshener. With two dogs, I am always spraying my rooms or lighting candles or finding some way to ward off offensive canine odors. This wasn’t stated in the article but perhaps it’s best NOT to spritz the alcohol in the room at the same time you light the candles. This might be a safety hazard. I sort of wish the vodka air freshener would make my residence smell like a whore house as I think it might be a deterrent to salespeople and of course, the Jehovah Witnesses who stop by weekly to save my soul.
Did you know that vodka is a shower cleaner? Yes, you can spritz your shower, tub, curtain and liner with vodka to prevent mold and other icky things from growing. I have not tried this yet, but I would think this is a fun way to start one’s day. Again, as with previous warnings, do not leave the vodka spritzer within easy reach of children, the elderly, or those with addiction issues. However, a little spritzer in the shower between two consulting adults might make a somewhat boring shower into a very romantic experience.
One last note: I am unsure if it is just vodka that is a magical cleaner and deodorizer or all alcohol. So, before you substitute Gin or Jack Daniels for your vodka, I would ask the help of an expert. I think any bartender would do.