THE WHOLE OF the American political system was rocked yesterday by the revelation of a dope scandal enveloping the Presidential election race.
Republican hopeful Mitt Romney was accused of being a bit of a dope which he strenuously denies. "I stren, strenwy, er, I stren – ," he announced to a pack hall of reporters, thus fuelling suspicions that the rumours are true.
The current incumbent, Barack Obama, has also been tainted by suspicion based on some of his policy decisions and delays to make policy decisions.
American politics has been awash with dope scandals ever since Gerald Ford kept falling down aircraft steps. It seems that the country which brought us Disney's version of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, with the specially-created character of Dopey and celebrations of utter stupidity in comedians like Jerry Lewis is in love with the idiot. Which goes a long way to explaining Ronald Reagan, Dan Quayle, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, Sarah Palin and, now, Mitt Romney.
An outspoken critic of the dope scandal, Senator Tip Headoverheels said: "I think it's fine and dandy if you want to be stupid in the privacy of your own home. I do, sometimes. But to bring it out in public like that where you might idiotically commit troops to battle or forget to send emergency aid to hurricane-hit crisis zones, is a bit silly."
It is estimated that at least 95% of the American population have been dopey at one time or another and that it even sometimes occurs in other countries, although most Americans don't know what 'other countries' are.
Thank goodness it couldn't happen in the United Kingdom where we have such fine politicans like David Cameron, Ed Miliband and Boris Johnson. Er . . .