ExxonMobil’s Rex Tillerson to be Secretary of State

The Secret Service has announced plans to reinforce security at the White House following the recent incident were an intruder jumped the fence and gained access to the building. “We’ve already changed the locks,” said […]
(Kids. Candy. Corpses. Career politicians. Okay, no corpses.) Well, here in my neighborhood, we’ve all managed to survive yet another pagan-based festival. You know the occasion – the one where diminutive, oddly-dressed strangers coalesce in […]
Dear Lord, please let Governor Romney’s campaign managers know that it wasn’t their fault he lost the 2012 election. They misplaced the floppy disks that stored his presidential campaign strategy. The good news is remnants of the […]
10. What was I thinking? Nobody wants a president named Mitt. 9. I should’ve promised everyone who voted for me I’d buy them a pony. 8. In hindsight, that Win A Dream Date With Mitt […]
Last night my dog Gregory was angry because I wanted to watch the final Presidential debate and wouldn’t let him put on his Scooby-Doo DVD. To get back at me, he peed on the cable […]