Tag: mitt romney
10 Secret Service Security Fixes That Will Turn the White House into a Fortress
The Secret Service has announced plans to reinforce security at the White House following the recent incident were an intruder jumped the fence and gained access to the building. “We’ve already changed the locks,” said […]
Fang Festival Follies
(Kids. Candy. Corpses. Career politicians. Okay, no corpses.) Well, here in my neighborhood, we’ve all managed to survive yet another pagan-based festival. You know the occasion – the one where diminutive, oddly-dressed strangers coalesce in […]
Friday Humor Devotional
Dear Lord, please let Governor Romney’s campaign managers know that it wasn’t their fault he lost the 2012 election. They misplaced the floppy disks that stored his presidential campaign strategy. The good news is remnants of the […]
Top Ten Things Mitt Romney Was Thinking Last Night After Conceding
10. What was I thinking? Nobody wants a president named Mitt. 9. I should’ve promised everyone who voted for me I’d buy them a pony. 8. In hindsight, that Win A Dream Date With Mitt […]
What The Candidates Were Thinking During The Final Debate
Last night my dog Gregory was angry because I wanted to watch the final Presidential debate and wouldn’t let him put on his Scooby-Doo DVD. To get back at me, he peed on the cable […]