Ripping the Headlines Today, 7/23/21

Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing, even news about Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis; that’s what any new release from Microsoft […]

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Topless Jennifer Lawrence

It wasn’t me. I know it looks like it was but I was framed. When I got into work this morning, it’s true that they were on my desk but I didn’t put them there. This […]

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High Noon: A Cautionary Tale of Customer Service

“It’s 12:00 noon for crying out loud. What do you mean I’ve got to wait thirty minutes for my fries? How can you possibly be out of fries…at this time of the day,” I ask […]

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Praying for an accident.

Jill Y and I had one of our hourly arguments. I said I was better than her and she begged to differ. The begging didn’t stop there either. She said she was a better person […]

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Please hold your applauds, I’m merely an average genius, nothing more, nothing less.

Einstein proved that the rate of Bon Jovi hatred inside the average genius is expanding at the rate of Bon Jovi hatred inside my head, ipso facto – I’m an average genius. I know I challenge […]

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Mandeep The Popular

Sugartastic Daddy John sat back and surveyed his kingdom. He was a certain age, with a list of accomplishments as long as a minus symbol and enough money to last him until lunch. He was […]

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Despite my vast knowledge of The 2 Stooges and the trick where I make beer disappear, there isn’t any logic that can come close to explaining the absurd anomaly that this is.

I think it was someone smart who said something with lots of big words that most of us couldn’t understand and by most of us, I mean me and by me, I mean, only me. […]

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Top Ten Things Mitt Romney Was Thinking Last Night After Conceding

10. What was I thinking? Nobody wants a president named Mitt. 9. I should’ve promised everyone who voted for me I’d buy them a pony. 8. In hindsight, that Win A Dream Date With Mitt […]

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