The Great Refrigerator Raid

One of the nice things about a fridge is its door.  If you pile up a mess anywhere else in the house, it’s going to be visible, unless you shove it under the bed or into a closet.  Shoving something under a bed takes effort.  Closing a fridge door is easy.  It is even easier not to think about whatever is behind that door until it is taking up so much space that you have to put your Poland Spring water on the floor under the table because there is no room for it anywhere else.

For compulsive fridge hoarders, there is no hope of recovery unless you hit bottom.  This usually happens when a visiting friend, who has just spent ten minutes searching for a can of ginger ale among the debris, looks at you, shakes her head and says, “You have so many organisms growing in there, that fridge should be declared a bio hazard!”

You have probably figured out by now that I am talking about my fridge.

So okay.  After thinking about it for a few weeks, I finally summoned the courage to do something.  It was with great trepidation that I removed what turned out to be a whole kitchen sink + a corner of the counter full of plastic and glass containers of various sizes.  I didn’t know what would happen when I opened any of them, but I had some plastic bags handy.  I reasoned that if the garbage began to attack me I could quickly tie the bag closed and trap it inside.

The garbage included, but was not limited to:

• Some three-week-old leftover chicken and rice
• Some pineapple chunks almost as old as the chicken and rice
• A few bites of two-week-old butternut squash salad
• A two-year-old bottle of V8 Fusion Juice that had never been opened
• Two almost-empty bottles of Gatorade that were probably fermenting[1]
• Half a large jar of applesauce that had been sitting in the back of the fridge for who knows how long
• Some stuffed grape leaves on which mysterious white stuff was growing
• A petrified tangerine

One full plastic bag, an army of washed-out plastic and glass containers and a cleaned-out sink later, the job was done.  The plastic and glass were in a clear recycling bag, and I had taken the garbage and thrown it into the trash can outside.  I even did a cursory job of wiping out the fridge.  I was proud of myself.  I had risen to the challenge and overcome it.

Now I have to do something about the piles of paper and magazines in my kitchen and living room.  I will start thinking about it now.

[1]Can Gatorade ferment?  Anyone?