1678 Days and Four Days.

I forgot that it was 1678 days and four days since Jill Y and I became a couple and as punishment, I was to made watch a TV show called The Voice. Apart from documentaries about documentaries, Bill Y is not a fan of television and prefers to read books about television and documentaries. The Voice is a really strange show. For those who are lucky enough to have never seen it, it’s a singing contest where the judges select the contestants by their voice alone, and not what they look like. An interesting premise in a society that places so much relevance on appearance. We’re treated to a little background on each contestant such as where they’re from, how brilliant their parents think they are and a deep and meaningful insight into the reasons they want to be famous. Invariably, this is usually an emotion filled piece such as:

“My name is Bill Y and I come from a family of no handed Dentists. My parents were Dentists with no hands and their parents were Dentists with no hands. When I was 5, my father was attacked by a ruthless, toothless Sabre Cat. They became lovers and my father left us for the ruthless, toothless, Sabre Cat. My mother brought me and my 72 cats, up on her own while holding down her Dentists job, all while having no hands. I want to win The Voice for my mother and all the no handed Dentists whose husbands ran away with ruthless, toothless Sabre Cats”.

This story is played out to the background of an Adele ballad and is designed to emotionally invest the audience in the world of the contestant. Bill Y then takes the stage, complete with hands and sings an average cover song, averagely. The audience love it because of the background story and applaud fervently throughout the performance. The judges who have their back to me, can either press a button during the song or not press a button during the song. If one judge presses their button, I’m on their team and if more than one judge presses their button, the choice is then mine, as to whose team I’m on. If there is anyone out there who has not seen this show, please, please, please do yourself a favor and do not watch it because it’s truly terrible. The fear of having to watch it again has made me think long and hard about what to get Jill Y for tomorrows anniversary. I don’t want to talk about how much this cost but I do hope she appreciates that it is not toothless: