Hallmark Gets Stuck with Tacky Holiday Sweater

Donna Cavanagh
By: TheUglySweaterShop.com

Controversy has found its way to the door of Hallmark. Yes, the company that brings us greeting cards that require me to take out a small second mortgage to purchase one, is in trouble with consumers on all sides of the “gay” fence.  Apparently, the company introduced the Tacky Sweater Holiday Ornament which plays Deck the Halls, one of the oldest traditional Christmas carols.  Being a typical corporation that is scared of anyone who resembles a lawyer or even knows a lawyer, Hallmark started to think about the song Deck the Halls and made one prominent change to the lyrics and this is what ensued:

 

It was the November before Christmas and Hallmark was prepared

To launch a new ornament, no promotion was spared

A miniature tacky sweater to hang from the tree

No need to wear one—a funny parody

It sang “Deck the Halls”— an added surprise

But someone at Hallmark thought the song was unwise

“The song has the word ‘gay’ and some shoppers might think

We support homosexuals and our sales could sink

Or perhaps homosexuals would think we object

To their lifestyle, marriages—we need to be politically correct.”

So, Hallmark panicked and changed “gay” apparel into “fun”

But they didn’t foresee the harm they had done

For gay people said bias was clear

“We listen to ‘Deck the Halls’ year after year

The song is about being happy and holiday celebration

You gave being gay a negative connotation.”

Other customers made it known they were also not pleased

They claimed Hallmark was trying the “Gays” to appease

“The song is an old song, we like it as is

And since you changed it without asking, you will lose all our biz.”

And here Hallmark sits, it can do no right

One little word has caused such a fright

Perhaps next year, they can do a little better

And just sell the real, tacky holiday sweater

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14 thoughts on “Hallmark Gets Stuck with Tacky Holiday Sweater”

  1. I’m not sure if you’ll believe me but in Ireland, there is a famous television presenter called Gay Byrne. Yes, that’s right, we have a TV Presenter called Gay Byrne. Stop your laughing Don Don’s, it’s the truth, it is!

  2. Hey Donna,

    So cute! If they sell ’em, my teenage girls will come. They always ask me, “Mom, why did you get rid of all your old COOL stuff??” They scour Goodwill every year before Tacky Sweater Day in high school.

  4. So what’s wrong with “Don we now our gay apparel?”

    I’m willing to add a “tra-la-la” or two. I’ll even put on an ugly holiday sweater … uh, well I guess I’d have to buy one first.

  5. Yikes. Did they really change the lyrics? How many more of these things have to happen before corporate hires us as strategists? I always wanted to work for a greeting card company. We could give Christmas carol tutorials and get 20% off those holiday sweater ornaments. Wonder if there are any changes coming for the dreidel song.

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