Gary Brantley, of the suburbs of Del Rio, Texas, has a message for everyone. Come and Take It. He’s not entirely sure to whom the message is directed, but he really means it.
“Everybody, I think. They’re all coming. The federal government… the state government…Obama… Mexicans… Rick Perry… Aliens… Wolves…Nazis… Bobcats…the FBI, CIA, ATF, FCC, HBO, ABC…Russians…Chinese…Injuns… the Coopajabra… It don’t matter who. You want what I got… you want to come and spread your socialistic stuff around here and redistribute my wealth…you gonna have to fight me for it, ya dirty Kenyans!”
Brantley maintains a pair of shotguns and a few boxes of shells at the ready, should shit start to get real. Tripwires line the property, which includes some scrub grass on a sandy lot with a dilapidated trailer from 1963. Signs warn of protection by “Smith & Wesson” and hint of an aggressive guard dog that is nowhere to be found. Another red sign pictorially suggests “No Russkies!”
An extensive search of the property turned up $3 in bills, 53 cents in change, 2 shirts, a pair of Wrangler jeans, an iron skillet, a stack of 3 mismatched tires, a Playboy issue from December 1995 with the Farrah Fawcett pages missing, and 12 rusted bean cans.