Arguing about politics on Facebook makes roughly the same impression on your friends as pooping your pants in public.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 16, 2013
Sorry I didn’t laugh during your 9-minute-long story about your haircut. I was too busy thinking of ways to kill myself. Good talk, though.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 16, 2013
My wife complained we never go out to eat. I already took her to Sam’s Club on free sample day. What more could she possibly want?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 16, 2013
I wish my coworker had the same strong feelings for me that I have for him. There’s nothing more frustrating than unrequited hate.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 16, 2013
I’m above getting into fights online. I simply let the other guy say what he wants and then sign up his work email for a bunch of porn sites
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 16, 2013