My 1 y.o. threw a fit in front of the fridge. I nudged her aside w/ my foot so I could get a beer. That concludes my parenting for the day.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 15, 2013
Me: “What’s wrong with her face?”
My wife: “Those are freckles.”
Apparently I don’t look at my kids very much.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 15, 2013
Just once when I ask my 1-year-old, “What’s in your mouth?” I want the answer to be food. Today it was an HDMI cable. Maybe tomorrow.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 15, 2013
From another room, my 3 y.o. said, “What did he put in that?” & my heart stopped b/c I couldn’t remember if I closed the video on my laptop.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 15, 2013
Certain words and phrases tip me off that someone isn’t from America: 1) love my mum 2) go to the shops 3) please 4) thank you
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 15, 2013