A Modest Proposal for Peace in the Middle East | HumorOutcasts

A Modest Proposal for Peace in the Middle East

February 24, 2015
By

Shakshuka, a weapon for peace.

shakshu-

Things remain chronically unstable and unpleasant in the Middle East. The Arab nations and Israel just haven’t gotten along as well as one might have hoped. Indeed one cannot look at the following incidents: 1948, the war for statehood, the war in 1967, the war in 1973, more than one intifada, the bombing of Iraqi nuclear facilities, the suspicion of what does facilities were meant to do, the suspicion that Iran’s nuclear program is designed for use against Israel, hundreds and hundreds of rockets fired against Israeli population centers, Israeli incursions in Gaza to fight Hamas, suicide bombers, and more without concluding that ill feelings have persisted over the years.

Meanwhile El Salvador has had its own problems, a really nasty civil war comes to mind. Also, while most people can find Israel on a map, hardly anyone knows the location of El Salvador.

But there is a solution. According the CIA World Factbook, the population of Israel in 2008 was 7,112,000 while the inhabitants in El Salvador numbered 7,066,000. Darn close. The size of Israel is 20,770 square kilometers, while the land area of El Salvador is 21,040. Darn close again.

Why not have Israel and El Salvador switch places? It would be a new beginning for both peoples. We could have a one-to-one swap of homes. What could be simpler? The Israelis would lose hostile neighbors and gain instant access to some of the best coffee in the world. The El Salvadoreans would be surrounded with ample supplies of the best shaksuka and hummus in the world. Who doesn’t doesn’t like good, tasty shakshuka and hummus? Nobody.

So there you go. Peace in our time. And you would be able to find the new El Salvador on a map.

– Paul the peace maker

4novels

Check out my latest novel, the Christmas thriller, Beneficial Murders. My books are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com, 

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

 

Paul De Lancey

Paul De Lancey writes in multiple genres: adventure, westerns, morality, time travel, thriller, and culinary, all spiced with zaniness. He is a frequent contributor to HumorOutcasts. His novels "Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms?" "Beneficial Murders," "We’re French and You’re Not," and "The Fur West" and his cookbook Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World have won acclaim from award-winning authors. Paul is also the writer of hilarious articles and somewhat drier ones in Economics. Dr. De Lancey obtained his Doctorate in Economics from the University of Wisconsin. His thesis, “Official Reserve Management and Forecasts of Official Reserves,” disappears from bookstore shelves so quickly that most would-be purchasers can never find it in stock. Paul, known to his friends as Paul, was the proud co-host of the online literary events Bump Off Your Enemies, The Darwin Murders, and Tasteful Murders. He also co-collected, co-edited, and co-published the e-book anthologies resulting from these events. Perhaps Mr. De Lancey will someday become a literary giant without having to die for the title. The humorist is a direct descendant of the great French Emperor Napoleon. Actually, that explains a lot of things. Paul ran for President of the United States in 2012! Woo hoo! On the Bacon & Chocolate ticket. Estimates of Bacon & Chocolate’s share of the votes range from 3 to 1.5% of the total. El Candidato also lost a contentious campaign to be El Presidente of Venezuela. In late 2013, Chef Paul participated in the International Bento Competition. The great statesman is again running for president, this time under HumorOutcasts’ sponsorship. Contact Paul before he gets elected to get that ambassadorship to Tahiti you’ve always wanted. Mr. De Lancey makes his home, with his wonderful family, in Poway, California. He divides his time between being awake and asleep. His books are available at: www.lordsoffun.com and amazon.com.

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