Alejandro González Iñárritu will go down in history as the man who directed The Revenant aka “The Film That Leo Finally Won an Oscar” for.

I made Jill Y go and see a Neurologist. She thought The Revenant was a good film and that Leo deserved his impending Best Actor, Oscar. When you’ve been with someone for most of the adult life of your brain and she suddenly thinks Leo deserves an Oscar for a movie of utter blandness, it’s time to get her brain looked at professionally. The brain doctor asked if Jill Y was a member of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences (AMPAS) and if she was involved in the Oscar’s voting process. Jill Y told him that she wasn’t and she wasn’t. This only confused the doctor to the max. He said that only members of AMPAS thought that Leo deserved an award and even then, it wasn’t his actual performance in The Revenant but more of a perceived obligation to finally award him. He spent the next hour running tests and told us he would let us know the results as soon as he heard back. We thanked him for his help and as we were leaving, he quietly called me back and told me to keep an eye on her and immediately call him if she voluntarily decided to listen to Bon Jovi. I assured him that that was never going to happen and that as long as Leo doesn’t make a film that uses Bon Jovi music as part of its soundtrack, that we would be alright.