I have to say that I was confident that the Powerball win was mine. I saged my house, burned my best prosperity incense and meditated for days. Alas, the Universe has something better in mind for me. I have no choice but to be patient. What would I have done with that amazing amount of money? Well, I had it divided up between charities, entrepreneurial expansions, family, friends, my HO writers and authors, steak for the dogs and well…you get the idea. Now that I don’t have the burden of spending that $1.5 billion, I need to come up with new ways to make sure my dreams still come true, so here are my potential new plans.
Sing on a street corner: I know artists do this all the time, and they make enough for a few meals per performance, but my voice sucks and I cannot play the guitar. I think the odds are pretty good that people would throw lots and lots of money at me just to make me shut up. Upon further consideration, maybe I could be a mime?
Multi-Level Marketing: I could finally accept an invitation to join one of the passive income stream groups that harass me each day on Twitter. They all promise that I can rake in six or seven figures annually without working more than 20 hours per week. That sounds pretty cool. Hey, if they have millions of Twitter followers, they must be honest…right?
Waitressing: Don’t scoff. I did this in college and made out great with tips. Okay, I’m not 21 anymore, so subtract tip money for not looking 21, but I could be one of those servers who happens to wait on a celebrity or sports star who thinks (thinks being the operative word here), “Gee, she really did a good job. Let me leave her a $100,000 tip.” It could happen. If the Kardashians can become power people in Hollywood, I could get that tip.
Get a reality show on HGTV: Maybe, they could feature my husband and me doing our household renovation projects? Granted, they would have to bleep out all the times we say “F%&K!” when something goes wrong. In my estimation, they would get three seconds of solid, non-swearing family entertainment. Throw in a few commercials, and it’s an Emmy-nominated show.
Shark Tank: I could go on this show and convince those people to invest in HumorOutcasts.com and HOPress-Shorehouse Books. Maybe I could bring on some of my writers to help sell the idea? On second thought…let’s leave them at home. Those people on Shark Tank seem a bit too right for writers.
Pole Dancing: Hey, I took complimentary classes a few years back after I wrote an article on the “sport.” I could dig out my pole from the basement and do “speaking” gigs. I bet I would fetch maybe $10,000 or you know…$10 per gig? Again, not 21 anymore.
Anyway, I am up to explore my “Plan B” as author Mary Farr would say (shameless plug). I am open for suggestions as well as checks and money orders too. Wait, the Megamillions goes off on Friday. Yes, there is hope!