Betty White – I Lost My Lesbian Virginity To Margaret Thatcher | HumorOutcasts

Betty White – I Lost My Lesbian Virginity To Margaret Thatcher

February 2, 2016
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Actress Betty White and Former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher in the late 1970s. Photo: Betty White.

Actress Betty White and Former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher in the late 1970s. Photo: Betty White.

CLEVELAND, OH — Actress Betty White shocked audiences at a gay pride rally in Cleveland yesterday when she announced she lost her lesbian virginity to former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher.

The Hot in Cleveland star, 93, said she revealed the long kept secret because she wanted elderly women to know sexual exploration and curiosity with the same sex is a perfectly natural progression with age. White claims she was in her early 50s and still married to her late husband Al Ludden when the lesbian tryst occurred.

“Old broads need to know it is okay to get unconventional loving, even late in life. It’s even better with supportive husbands watching,” White said to adoring fans.

While White doesn’t divulge the specifics of how and when her and Thatcher met, she does say Thatcher was a big fan of her character Sue Ann Nivens on Mary Tyler Moore and subsequent spinoffs, and made it a point to spend time with White whenever she was in the States.

According to her the liaison with Thatcher happened after a wild night on the town at Studio 54. White was taking a break from shooting a movie of the week while Thatcher was visiting relatives.

“I had never been with a woman in that way before then and can definitely say old Iron Crotch always gets what she wants.” said White of the encounter.

White was all smiles when probed by reporters, who said reading Shirley Jones’ tell all autobiography that was released earlier last year gave her the courage to come out of the bicurious closet.

“I’m the bottom, if that really matters. I had to be with a woman as aggressive as Iron Crotch. She got that name fair and square.” White said of the sexual encounter.

Crowds were receptive, giving White a twenty minute standing ovation that led her to tears. Audience members were highly supportive, stating her courage to reveal something that could be shameful due to generational taboo and choice of lover could possibly taint the actress’ legacy.

“It was the 1970s. Things were different back then. Cocaine made you believe anything was possible, and the fact that there is one witness in the world that can prove Margaret Thatcher had sex is proof of that.” White said before jumping in her limo.

Betty White is scheduled to be at a Gay Pride rally tomorrow in Birmingham, Alabama.

Gwendolyn L. Spelvin

Gwendolyn L. Spelvin is a philosopher of the Edward Bernays Century of Self, a follower of Sigmund Freud’s explorations of the subconscious mind through chemical means, and an avid enthusiast of Adolph Hitler’s short-lived ballet career before he rose through the ranks of the Third Reich. Spelvin had dedicated her post academic career as an innovative writer that creates a written vision to prove misanthropic tendencies works with an audience, crafting a message that sways public approval towards her client’s products to the guarantee of the masses blindly supporting the company agenda without them knowing it. A dirty job, but someone has to pacify the idiots who know not what they blindly support into a continuing trek of oblivion. Last, but not least, Spelvin is a firm believer in the annihilation of the JUSTIN BELIBERS. Currently she is working on her cookbook, To Serve A Hot Man: Jeffrey Dahmer's Classic Recipes due out this Christmas.

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2 Responses to Betty White – I Lost My Lesbian Virginity To Margaret Thatcher

  1. February 2, 2016 at 4:31 pm

    Cocaine still makes me believe that anything is possible. Including this story.

    • Gwendolyn L. Spelvin
      February 2, 2016 at 6:52 pm

      I say anybody going for a romp in the hay with Thatcher is entitled to one kilo of cocaine, no questions asked, for personal use.



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