Author: Articul8Madn3ss
https://t.me/pump_upp
Ben Carson Braids Donald Trump’s Hair For Black History Month
Spring is in the hair, and with it a new change in seasons and style. Republican presidential hopefuls are riding this new wave of hairstyling to impress in a strategy to increase their dwindling fan […]
The Nobel Prize in Physics in 2017 will go to whoever can finish Angry Birds: Space
VIENNA – Due to a lack of qualified applicants, the Nobel Committee has recently announced the winner of the Physics Prize will be awarded to the first individual from any eligible nation that can successfully […]
The Jacksons Sue Donald Trump For Violating Their ‘Victory Tour’ Trademark
LOS ANGELES, CA – The Jacksons have filed a trademark lawsuit against Donald Trump and his transition team, claiming Trump’s ‘Victory Tour’ infringes on their legacy to the name. Jermaine, Tito, Jackie, and Marlon Jackson […]
Charmin’s Law makes wiping after bodily functions a sex offense felony
After public pressure from victim’s rights groups who were casualties of non-predatory and non-violent sex crimes, President Barack Obama on Thursday signed into law the latest legislation designed to preemptively deter explorative fondling. Aptly named […]
Little Bo-Peep arrested; charged with sheep tail poaching
Indianapolis officials have arrested a least likely suspect being held responsible for poaching and smuggling sheep after a national manhunt drew attention to the animal abuse violations on nearby farms. Little Bo-Peep was arrested Monday […]
Taking It To The Streets – Hilary Clinton’s new campaign strategy to pull in homeless voters.
ATLANTA, GA – Presidential candidate Hilary Clinton in a brave new campaign strategy is reaching out to potential voters on the street in tent cities and in homeless shelters. Clinton has pledged to blend in […]
Smartass Sundays: Playing Family Feud as a Returning Champion
Who doesn’t like the underdog family winning the game on Family Feud and coming back for week two? You can smell the cockiness from across the idiot box. The confidence, the snarkyness. Even a slight […]
Nothing says 1st World Greatness like Craigslist.
Ahh Craigslist. The symbol of everything Americans have worked for since the dawn of democracy. My go to place for all things haggled. I’ve seen some of it all. The patriots on there have created […]