Technology’s Finest Hour
Alright, I’m calling it – the machines have won. The unraveling of Western Civilization has begun. And it didn’t take Skynet with its implacable Austrian cyborgs from the future to bring our demise, or even […]
Tag: toilet paper
SPARKS BRIEF: The History Channel’s On A Roll
New York, NY – Today in a press conference, Eli Lehrer, Executive Vice President of Original Programming for the History Channel, announced the premiere of its new show, TP Pickers. Lehrer informed a group of […]
Toxic, Tea Lights and TP
(For Donna’s ant spray, lighter, and TP challenge) I never have been able to figure it out. Every time you hear about a storm on the way everyone rushes to the grocery store. I understand […]
Charmin’s Law makes wiping after bodily functions a sex offense felony
After public pressure from victim’s rights groups who were casualties of non-predatory and non-violent sex crimes, President Barack Obama on Thursday signed into law the latest legislation designed to preemptively deter explorative fondling. Aptly named […]
Ordinary Beginnings of Ordinary Lives – Sue Viva
Sue Viva, grew up in the little town of Albondigas, Baja Sur. Her father was a door-to-door salesman of books on toilet paper. Life was hard, except for that month when the fish rendering plant […]
Unicorn Bites 5/2/14
My wife’s disappointed sighs are so loud I can hear them through this text message. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 2, 2014 3-year-old daughter: Why do you sound like a boy? Me: Because I am […]
Toilet Paper: The F-word of Bathroom Tissue
The other day I ran to Target for a few essentials. I wandered into the section with the bathroom tissue because it was next to the end cap that had a display of wines that were […]
A letter to myself two hours ago…
I can’t tell you how many times I wish I could go back in time to tell myself something. For starters, I would tell myself not to see any of the Sex and the City movies. Then […]
The Toilet Paper Trade Act
Venezuela is running out of toilet paper. The country has plenty of oil, but little bathroom tissue. We have tons of bathroom tissue but could use some oil. I am neither a diplomat nor an […]