Send in the Clowns? | HumorOutcasts

Send in the Clowns?

November 3, 2016
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Remember when clowns were friendly? There was Bozo and Ronald McDonald. There were circus clowns who drove around in little cars and made people laugh. But those clowns gave way to some not so nice clowns such as Stephen King’s Pennywise from the book It, who was responsible for the development of Coulrophobia or an abnormal fear of clowns in so many readers and moviegoers in the 1980s and 90s.

While the fear of clowns did become mainstream,  the threat of clowns seemed to ease a bit until this year when clowns mysteriously began appearing on sides of roads in several states. These frightening figures had only one goal in mind and that was to scare the crap out of motorists and pedestrians who spotted them lurking. Then, some of these painted purveyors of peril turned violent as well and once again and rightly so, the fear of clowns hit everyone—well almost everyone.

Who was not afraid? The people who seem to have a sexual fetish about them. Yes, there are people who get excited by clowns. I’m not making this up.  According to Buzz Feed, clowns have been one of the most common searches on porn sites. Laugh if you must, but there has been a 213 percent rise in searches  for clown porn.  Until I read this article, I didn’t even know there was such a thing as clown porn. I have to wonder what else I don’t know.

Anyway, this interest in…what should I call them…sex clowns?…well, this got me thinking and so I called up several friends. Three of my friends were pretty normal when it comes to life, but the other two (and they admit this themselves) tend to live on the not so normal or adventurous side of the street. I asked them to take part in my totally unscientific survey so I could determine what exactly people find attractive about clowns in an “intimate” setting or as I put it, “Why would clowns turn you on?”

Here are the answers that I can share with you without losing all the third-party ads on my site due to bad content.

  • Clown clothes are cool.  This took me by surprise because while I try to avoid looking like a clown, two friends insisted that clown clothes are billowy and loose-fitting which makes them great for hiding body fat. Go figure.  One friend added that the big bow ties and striped socks were “pretty nifty.”
  • Clown makeup.  I had nowhere to go with this one. It’s one of those things where you just say, “okay” and move on.
  • Balloon animals: I had to ask for an explanation and here it is: One can add an entirely new aspect to bedroom games with a few good balloon animals of various colors and sizes and if one is a thrifty person, you can use condoms for the balloons and you’ve killed two birds with one stone so to speak (This one came from my most adventurous friend who I have now downgraded to an acquaintance because I’m  a tad freaked out.)

And finally,

  • Clown feet are huge and that feeds into the old wives tale that the size of a man’s you-know-what correlates to the size of his feet, well… (you fill in the blanks there).

There you have it. The totally unscientific and somewhat bizarre reasons behind why clowns are once again in demand. YUK!

Donna Cavanagh

Donna Cavanagh is founder of HumorOutcasts.com (HO) and the partner publishing company, HumorOutcasts Press which now includes the labels Shorehouse Books and Corner Office Books (HOPress-Shorehousebooks.com). As "den mother" to the more than 100 aspiring and accomplished writers, producers, comics and authors, Cavanagh's goal is to allow creativity to flow. She is a former journalist who made an unscheduled stop into humor more than 20 years ago. Her syndicated columns helped her gain a national audience when her work landed in the pages of First Magazine and USA Today. She teaches the how-to lessons of humor and publishing at conferences and workshops throughout the country including The Philadelphia Writers' Conference and Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop. The author of four humor books, Cavanagh hopes her latest book, How to Write and Share Humor: Techniques to Tickle Funny Bones and Win Fans, will encourage writers not only to embrace their humor talents but show them off as well.

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8 Responses to Send in the Clowns?

  1. Deb Martin-Webster
    November 9, 2016 at 12:49 pm

    Quit clownin’ around and send in the clowns! 😉

  2. Bill Y Ledden
    November 5, 2016 at 9:13 am

    When I see a clown, I always hold the door open. It’s a nice jester.

  3. Bill Spencer
    November 3, 2016 at 4:14 pm

    2 words: Harley Quinn

    • November 4, 2016 at 6:59 am

      HA HA HA! I forgot about that one!

  4. November 3, 2016 at 4:09 pm

    I have to admit that until recently, I’ve always been apathetic toward them, but a couple of towns in Illinois, including the one where I live, have been on the news because clowns are now riding bicycles (yes, that actually made the news), and I may have to be more cautious of them now.

    • November 4, 2016 at 7:00 am

      We’ve had those clowns in PA too. Very creepy and not funny, but who knew about clown porn? Yikes!

  5. November 3, 2016 at 3:06 pm

    I never thought of clowns as sexy. Does this make me some kind of pervert or deviant? 😉



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