When Life Hands You Bananas, Make Popsicles | HumorOutcasts

When Life Hands You Bananas, Make Popsicles

March 20, 2017

Consider the following:

A. I like bananas.

B. I don’t like them well enough to eat 3 or 4 of them each day.

C. I am a single person, living alone.

D. The online shopping site Peapod would only sell the bananas I wanted in bunches of at least 5. The one they sent me had 7 bananas in it.

If you got all that, you know that trouble was not far off.

The bananas were all green, so I left them out to ripen. Bananas are independent. They ripen at their own pace, either slower or faster than we want them to ripen. Once they ripen, they don’t stop until they become too mushy to peel, usually in a day or two. It’s their way of taking revenge on us for taking them away from home on that banana tree in some tropical paradise.

The latest scientific findings say that it is not only okay to refrigerate ripe bananas, it is helpful. I was raised, however, in the old school of banana maintenance, which taught us never to put bananas in the refrigerator. Besides, I tried that once and it didn’t work much better than just leaving them out to rot in their own time.

Every day, I ate one banana and watched helplessly while those left in the bunch sprouted more and more telltale brown spots.

I knew I had to act. I had paid for 7 bananas, and the 4 that were left were NOT going to go into the garbage. I peeled the remaining fruit one at a time, zipped them into sandwich bags and put them in the freezer.

When summer comes, I will have bananasicles.

Who said good housekeeping is a dead art?

Kathy Minicozzi

Kathy Minicozzi is an opera singer turned aspiring writer, who lives somewhere in New York City. In other words, she's weird, but harmless. She is the author of "Opera for People Who Don't Like It," in which she turns the world of opera and its performers upside down while, at the same time, making it understandable to non-opera lovers and making everyone laugh.

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7 Responses to When Life Hands You Bananas, Make Popsicles

  1. Bill Y "The Legend" Ledden
    March 25, 2017 at 5:20 am

    Chef Paul told me that the easiest way to make a banana split, is to cut it in half.

  2. March 21, 2017 at 10:09 am

    I think you made banana, fanna, fo fanna!

    • March 21, 2017 at 11:57 am

      … mee mi mo manna! BANANA!

      I had to do that. I never grew up.

  3. March 21, 2017 at 7:33 am

    before you freeze them, dip them in chocolate. Heart healthy and frugal and yum!

    • March 21, 2017 at 11:55 am


      Maybe the next time! 😀

  4. Bill Spencer
    March 20, 2017 at 7:53 pm

    This is very a-peeling. I like it a bunch.

    • March 20, 2017 at 8:44 pm

      It’s a slippery subject, but fun. 😉

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