Shrimp Pineapple Curry

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INGREDIENTS – CURRY PASTE­

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2 green chiles

½ teaspoon black mustard or brown mustard seeds

1 medium onion

2 tablespoons sesame, coconut, or vegetable oil

1½ tablespoons fresh curry, kaffir lime, or basil leaves

3 garlic cloves

1½ tablespoons fresh* pandanus** or cilantro

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INGREDIENTS – SHRIMP PINEAPPLE

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1 cup coconut milk

¾ teaspoon fish sauce or soy sauce

1½ tablespoons sugar

1½ cup chopped or crushed pineapple

1 pound shrimp

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* = 1 tablespoon fresh herbs = 1 teaspoon dried herbs

** = Pandanus and some of the other ingredients can be hard to find. This is why I list substitutes.

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SPECIAL UTENSILS

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spice grinder

blender or food processor

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Serves 4. Takes 45 minutes.

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PREPARATION – CURRY PASTE

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Seed chiles. Grind mustard seeds in spice grinder. Mince onion. Add oil and onion to pan. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Add ground mustard seeds, sautéed onion, and the remaining curry paste ingredients to blender. Blend until you get a curry paste.

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PREPARATION – SHRIMP PINEAPPLE

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Add curry paste, coconut milk, fish sauce, and sugar to large pan. Bring to boil using high heat. Stir frequently. Reduce heat to medium and simmer for 5 minutes. Stir occasionally. Add pineapple and shrimp. Simmer at medium heat for 4 minutes or until shrimp turns pink. Stir occasionally. Goes well with rice.

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TIDBITS

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1) Nearly everyone who isn’t a little child finds shrimp to be ever so tasty.

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2) Tots, however, greatly prefer ice cream.  This is why thousands upon thousands of ice cream trucks roams patrol the streets of our towns of cities.

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3) But what about the adults? Why can’t we can’t have shrimp trucks driving around, playing the notes to “Blow the Man Down” or ever better, “Shrimp Boats are  Sailing” Instead of various dairy desserts, these plucky vendors could sell: shrimp cocktails, shrimp scampi, or Shrimp Pineapple Curry?

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4) How did Shrimp Pineapple Curry come about?  Remarkably, while billions of words have been written, over hundreds of years, over what people like to eat and how to make their dishes, nearly nothing has been written about what shrimp like to dine on.

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5) Oh sure, we know they will devour all manner of algae organisms. And itty, bitty bits of deal corral, roots, and other rotting ocean-floor delicacies. But such fare doesn’t sound very appetizing, does it?  No, and the shrimp don’t think so either.

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6) So, it was quite a momentous event for the shrimp nation when the Portuguese navigator Bartolomeo Diaz sailed into the Indian Ocean in 1488.

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7) Bartolomeo had a shrimp, Vasco, for a pet when he was little. Everyday, little Barty watched his plucky shrimp perform high-impact acrobatics. “Wait and see,” said Barty to his pet, “I’m going to achieve great things on the open sea. Just like you.”

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8) But he had to endure endless name calling, such as “Batty Barty,” before he grew up enough to command a crown-sponsored naval expedition. Batty had wanted  trade coconuts to the shrimps of the Indian Ocean in exchange for algae, but a crabby King John II insisted on bringing back valuable spices.

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9) In disgust, Barty threw his cargo of coconuts overboard. The shrimp loved coconuts, once they decomposed. The cleverest shrimps discovered a way to grow ocean-floor coconuts.  A few years later an Arab trading vessel carrying pineapples and curry leaves sank. Brainy shrimps found a way to harvest these ingredients beneath the waves.

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10) Naturally, the shrimps who had been hating there bland diet since tidbit 5) created Pineapple Curry. Brilliant, industrious shrimps created colossal aquatic coconut, curry, and pineapple farms.

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11) Indian Ocean shrimps led a blissful culinary existence until submariners during World War II noticed thousands of square miles aquatic acreage. “I’ll bet Coconut Curry would make a great dish would make a scrumptious entree if one only added shrimp to it,” said Chef Bertie of HMS Entre.

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16) And he did. Now the world eats tons of shrimp every day and their vast aquatic farms lie untended and forgotten. And if you try to tell someone at cocktail party about this, they’ll make a squeaky sound and scurry to the other side of the room.

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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.