Masoor Dal and His Time Traveling Dog

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INGREDIENTS

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1 cup split red lentils

2 green chiles

2 garlic cloves

1 small onion

2 tomatoes

1 dry red chile

2¾ cups water or vegetable broth

3 tablespoons ghee* or 1½ tablespoons vegetable oil

1 teaspoon cumin seeds

¾ teaspoon mustard seeds

2¼ teaspoons minced ginger

¼ teaspoon asafoetida*

¼ teaspoon garam masala

½ teaspoon Kashmiri* chili or cayenne powder

1 teaspoon salt

½ teaspoon turmeric

½ teaspoon fenugreek leaves

2 tablespoons lemon juice

1½ tablespoons fresh cilantro or ½ tablespoon dried cilantro

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* = Can be found online or ethnic supermarkets

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SPECIALTY UTENSIL

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instant pot

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Serves 4. Takes 35 minutes.

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PREPARATION

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Rinse red lentils. Seed green chiles if you desire a milder taste. Dice garlic cloves, green chiles, onion, and tomatoes. Crumble red chile. Add red lentils and water to instant pot. Stir once to prevent sticking to the pot. Set instant pot to high and to cook for 5 minutes. Let pressure drop naturally for 10 minutes. Gradually open steam release. Carefully open lid. Mash red lentils to your liking.

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While red lentils cook, add ghee to pan. Heat on medium heat until ghee melts. Add cumin seeds, mustard seeds, and crumbled red chile. Sauté seeds until they crackle. Stir constantly. Add garlic, green chile, minced ginger, and onion. Sauté on medium heat for 3 minutes. Stir frequently, Add tomato, asafoetida, garam masala, Kashmiri chili, salt, and turmeric. Cook for 5 minutes or until tomato becomes mushy.

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Add red lentils and fenugreek leaves to pan. Simmer on low heat for 2 minutes. Stir occasionally. Add lemon juice. Stir until well blended. Garnish with fresh cilantro. Goes well with naan.

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TIDBITS

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1) Masoor Dal was born in India in the tiny village of Taaja Adarak. Not only was Masoor born in a specific place, he was born at specific time, 9:23 am, May 16th, 422 BC. Nobody would play with little Dal because he used to take asafoetida baths. Indeed, Masoor’s only companion was a time-traveling dog named Olafo. Olafo had materialized on Earth in 408 BC.

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2) “What a nice corgi,” thought the overly fragrant Masoor. “I do hope he won’t run away.”

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3) But Olafo stayed put. He’d suffered an olfactory injured in the Great Universal War between Olafo’s Orion Beltian and the sinful, hateful, evil Lutefisk Confederation of Pluto and couldn’t smell worth a darn.

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4) Masoor would often say, “I had friends.”  Olafo would reply, “I wish could smell dog butts.”

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5) “Why can’t you smell?” asked little Dal. “I damaged my nose in the war, yipped Olafo. A Lutefisker hurled a smell-stopper grenade (STG) at my squad. I sat on it. I saved my comrades, but at the cost of my nose. I’m hear on R and R.”

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6) “I notice you always carry a Lassie Laser with you?” said Masoor. “Why didn’t you fire it at him?” Olafo sighed. “The Lutefiskers had just developed an anti-electronics shield (AES). My laser couldn’t couldn’t penetrate it.” Masoor looked at his thumbs, for no apparent reason. “You need a catapult. They’re lethal and have no electronics. You’ll be invincible.”

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7) Olafo agreed. Soon the happy pair built their catapult. They loaded it with red lentils, chiles, garlic cloves, an onion, ghee, cumin seeds, mustard seeds, ginger, garam masala, Kashmiri chili, salt, turmeric, fenugreek leaves, tomatoes a huge lemon, and cilantro leaves for a flourish.

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8) Unfortunately, a mishap occurred on the first trial, hurling the enormous lemon at Olafo’s nose and knocking the No-Smell Particles (NSPs) loose that had lodged there. A canine sneeze soon dislodged them.

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9) Masoor’s asafoetida coated hand, patted Olafo’s head. “There, there.”

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10) “I can smell again,” yipped Olafo. “And you stink of asafoetida.”

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11) Little Lal’s face fell. “But that stuff on your hands would go great with the other ingredients in the catapult, of course.”

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12) “And if you put a huge rock, nothing else in the catapult, Olafo, you have a devastating weapon to use against the Lutefiskers.

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13) And so Olafo went back to his squad with his catapult. This weapon propelled the Orion Beltians to decisive victory. Masoor now put his asafoetida into his culnary masterpiece, Masoor Dal. People loved it and the now sweet-smelling chef got all the women. So, things ended well. Yay.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.