Blog Archives

Getting Ahead of the Day

February 2, 2018
By

Today, instead of sitting around and waiting for the shit to hit the fan, I’m gonna throw the fan directly at the unsuspecting shit. Take it by surprise. Catch it off guard. I’ll have to…

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Hotter Than Hell

January 23, 2018
By
Hotter Than Hell

Climate scientists have discovered that not only is the earth heating up, but Hell is getting hotter too. As of the last four seconds, Hell has gone from 4,563°F to 5,695°F. At this heat, all…

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Wit Bits

January 4, 2018
By
Wit Bits

My mom always said I had a one-track mind, but she was wrong. Even worse, I have an 8-track mind. Embarrassing, since no one makes 8-track any more. And mine’s broken. I really have to…

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Odd Jobs

December 20, 2017
By
Odd Jobs

Sometimes I like to think about jobs that I would never, ever consider doing. Jobs that are crazy stupid, as jobs go. One of them is working for those tree cutting companies. Not the ones…

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Phrases

December 16, 2017
By

Why do we call really late at night the “wee morning hours”? First of all, the word “wee” suggests a size. Time has no size. It has a duration. “Wee” could apply to the size of…

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What Women Want

December 7, 2017
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Welcome, gentlemen. Welcome to the first annual What Women Want Conference. As you’ve all sworn on your conference pre-check forms, you are the group of men who believe it’s fine and dandy to touch a woman’s breasts…

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Soft Skills

November 14, 2017
By

What are soft skills? I’m suppose to improve my soft skills, but does that mean turn them into something softer, like a comfortable 3-ply roll of toilet paper? Or should I beat the crap out…

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Free Range Chicken

November 2, 2017
By

If some chicken is free range chicken, shouldn’t all the other chicken be called prisoner cell chicken, or jailbird chicken? Did jailbird chickens break some law? I wonder how many innocent chickens have been convicted and executed. Were they read there…

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To the Moon and Back, Alice

October 22, 2017
By

Ever notice how people like to use the moon to measure things on earth? Here’s an interesting fact I read: if you lay out all the yoyo string on the planet in a straight line,…

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Stop Speaking Infantish

September 24, 2017
By
Stop Speaking Infantish

For goodness sake, if you want to train your dog properly, stop speaking infantish to him. Your dog is not a human infant. The reason we talk googly to infants is that we are training them early on…

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How to Write and Share Humor
By Donna Cavanagh Published by HumorOutcasts Press

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