Forget tea leaves and palm reading. Fortune cookies have always been my preferred method of forecasting my future, because even if the fortunes don’t come true, I still get a nice lunch and a cookie.
When I tell the waitress, “I’d like a salad,” I really mean, “I’ll ORDER the salad. What I’d LIKE is a double cheeseburger, fries and a chocolate shake.”
Incomprehensible medical bills and insurance paperwork are the main reasons many poor souls come successfully through illness and treatment and then go ahead and die anyway.
I eat ice cream for the same reason George Mallory said he climbed Mount Everest: Because it’s there. Also because I like it. And it’s safer than mountain climbing.
If I were stuck in bed recovering from illness, I’d spend my days reading mysteries. When I got tired of reading, I’d watch the Hallmark mystery channel, and during commercials, I’d mute the TV, stare […]