Vanity, Thy Name Is Bill Spencer
I’ve always been vain. When I was two years old, yes two, I ran away from home, my plan being that I would walk to my grandmother’s 50 miles away. I was confident I could […]
I’ve always been vain. When I was two years old, yes two, I ran away from home, my plan being that I would walk to my grandmother’s 50 miles away. I was confident I could […]
Carolyn told me my shoes look really rough. That surprised me. I wrapped them in fresh duct tape just a few weeks ago. Bill Spencer is the author of Uranus is Always Funny: Short Essays […]
I have no idea how to solve the partisan rancor that has evolved in America. But I do think I have some insight into why there is now such a political divide despite the fact that […]
The July 2021 issue of Funny Times contains this item in its “News of the Weird” section: John Hinkle bowled a perfect 300 game on April 12 using a ball containing his father’s ashes. Because […]
My wife says she lives like she types—fast and with a lot of mistakes. I can’t comment on the mistakes part, but I can attest to the fast part. I literally cannot keep up with […]
An article entitled “Mystery of the Diminishing Sperm Counts” reports that between 1973 and 2011, sperm concentrations worldwide decreased by 52% and at the same time total sperm counts were lowered by 59%. These results […]
Looking for love almost killed me once. I’m not kidding. When I was single in my 20’s, my also-single brother Kelly and I decided to join a youth-group mixer activity, a trip from Tybee Island, […]
Many websites are devoted to jokes about Uranus, including jokojokes.com, which offers 63 of them in one place. There’s even a whole website just for knock-knock jokes about Uranus. NASA has noted that “Uranus is […]
My first car got about 20 miles to the gallon and about 200 miles to the quart. It was a subcompact coupe, a blue 1972 Chevy Vega with an aluminum engine that warped, as did […]
You can have EVERYTHING! And you can afford it! Everything Bagel is available for $13.74, while Everything BUT the Bagel is only $7.21. That means you can have it all for the low, low price […]