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“Putin is the daddy. Zelenskyy doesn’t even have anything on me to blackmail me with. This is why, with immediate effect, I am cancelling tomorrow’s sanctions on Russia. Thank you for your attention to this matter and for MAKING ME GREAT AGAIN.” – Donald Trump, maybe…
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Tag: no sex

Unicorn Bites 1/11/14

January 11, 2014January 12, 2014 James Breakwell

Me: What’s the most recent picture you have of me? My mom: *pulls out an ultrasound pic* Me: That’s it? Mom: You weren’t a pretty child. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 11, 2014 […]

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Daily Musings / Joke of The Daychild pictures, eating out of trash can, funny, humor, James Breakwell, master's degree, no sex, parenting, toddler, ultrasound, wife, xploding unicorn

Unicorn Bites 9/11/13

September 11, 2013September 11, 2013 James Breakwell

I said on my résumé that I’m goal oriented. I left out that my goal is to do as little work as possible without getting fired. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 11, 2013 […]

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Daily Musings / Joke of The Daydinosaurs, frowning, goal oriented, humoroutcasts, jurassic park, no sex, resume, Sex, smiling more, spraining face, three year olds

Too Much Apple?

March 8, 2013March 8, 2013 Neal Mayhem

Apple’s making an iWatch. Fashion experts say it makes quite a statement. Is that statement, “I never have sex”?

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Daily Musings / Joke of The Dayapple, Apple watches, humor, MinutesofMayhem, no sex

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