Unicorn Bites 6/24/14
Bouncer: You’re not on the list. Me: This says I am. *hands him three Taco Bell hot sauce packets* Him: Me: Him: Right this way, sir. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 24, 2014 4-year-old: Can […]
Bouncer: You’re not on the list. Me: This says I am. *hands him three Taco Bell hot sauce packets* Him: Me: Him: Right this way, sir. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 24, 2014 4-year-old: Can […]
When hipsters replaced hippies, we lost free love and drugs and got skinny jeans. Worst. Trade. Ever. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 1, 2014 Me: Call me Iron Man! Wife: Seriously? Every fucking time? Me: […]