Gary Brantley, of the suburbs of Del Rio, Texas, has a message for everyone. Come and Take It. He’s not entirely sure to whom the message is directed, but he really means it.
“Everybody, I think. They’re all coming. The federal government… the state government…Obama… Mexicans… Rick Perry… Aliens… Wolves…Nazis… Bobcats…the FBI, CIA, ATF, FCC, HBO, ABC…Russians…Chinese…Injuns… the Coopajabra… It don’t matter who. You want what I got… you want to come and spread your socialistic stuff around here and redistribute my wealth…you gonna have to fight me for it, ya dirty Kenyans!”
Brantley maintains a pair of shotguns and a few boxes of shells at the ready, should shit start to get real. Tripwires line the property, which includes some scrub grass on a sandy lot with a dilapidated trailer from 1963. Signs warn of protection by “Smith & Wesson” and hint of an aggressive guard dog that is nowhere to be found. Another red sign pictorially suggests “No Russkies!”
An extensive search of the property turned up $3 in bills, 53 cents in change, 2 shirts, a pair of Wrangler jeans, an iron skillet, a stack of 3 mismatched tires, a Playboy issue from December 1995 with the Farrah Fawcett pages missing, and 12 rusted bean cans.
Funny thing is, the t-shirt was probably made in China because the textile makers took the jobs and moved them overseas.
My guess is that there are no brains left in the pot worth taking either?
Sounds like “they” already came and took it but I would like to have that iron skillet. Watch your back Gary.