Boss: Your outfit is inappropriate Me: It’s casual day B: You’re in stormtrooper armor M: Am I overdressed? I have a sleeveless version.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 12, 2014
I admire optimists. It takes a lot of courage to be wrong about everything.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 12, 2014
3-year-old: Do I ask too many questions? Me: No, you’re learning 3: Why? M: It’s all new 3: Why? M: You’re young 3: Why? M: Go to bed
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 12, 2014
Ladies, men will never get what you mean by “I’m fine” unless there’s a crack of lightening and scary music. Even that might be too subtle.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 12, 2014
My pet peeves: 1) lateness 2) people who cut in line 3) radio DJs who sing with the songs My wife’s pet peeves: 1) me
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 12, 2014