Yoo hoo, everybody! I’m back with more words of questionable wisdom. Are you sure you’re ready for this?
1. Even if you live in New York City, if it’s 91 degrees outside you probably don’t need a jacket.
2. Murphy’s Law of Public Transportation: The air-conditioning on a subway train or bus will always work or not work in reverse ratio to how hot it is outside.
3. Go ahead, call in sick at work and spend the day at the beach. You know you want to. Invite your doctor to come along, in order to bribe him to sign his name to the beautifully written note you plan to present to your boss.
4. If you can put off feeling guilty for whatever you feel guilty about until sometime tomorrow, do it. If there is someone around who insists on forcing you to feel guilty, hog tie him, gag him and lock him in a closet until he repents. If you think he’ll go back to his old obnoxious tricks as soon as you let him go, get him to sign a legally binding agreement before you untie him.
5. If you ever have occasion to hog tie and gag someone and lock him in a closet, don’t forget that you put him there.
6. A good road trip can cure a multitude of ills, especially if those ills are caused by staring at the same four walls and doing the same old things with the same old people every same old day of your life.