It’s sad when you read stories about people being taken for a ride. But if this story is legit, this would be a happy event. A woman named Linda Ducharme in Florida (and this stuff always takes place in Florida which makes me think what is wrong with that state?) has signed up for being taken for a so-called ride with her new husband and love of her life Bruce, who just happens to be a ferris wheel. I’m not talking ferris wheel in a symbolic or metaphoric sort of way. I am talking ferris wheel in the amusement park and carnival sort of way. Yep, she even got a priest to do the ceremony. For those keeping score, the priest has since resigned from the Catholic Church and has become an independent operator because his diocese frowned upon the steel ride-crazy human nuptials. So much for equal rights?
Anyway, Bruce and his bride are now wed and they are spinning with happiness. I want to say I understand this love story, but…I don’t. It’s not that I am a ferris wheel-human being bigot; I just don’t trust this chick. She has known Bruce for 30 years, but along the way she turned her back on her man of steel and found romance elsewhere specifically with an airplane (that love match crash landed quickly after takeoff) and a train. When the train tryst fell off the track, she returned to Bruce. In her defense, Linda has witnessed her relationship with Bruce spin out of control. Badly damaged in a storm, Bruce had to be shipped to Wichita for repairs and even now, she stands by his side hoping and praying he becomes the strong wheel she fell in love with.
How did Linda know she loved Bruce? Well, she said that when she first met him, she got a weird feeling. Her heart pounded and she felt as if her stomach was doing cartwheels as she went up on the platform to get on the ride. She surmised she it was love. Now if it were me, I would have assumed I was panicking from a fear of heights or the knowledge that I scarfed down too many corn dogs—but I guess love is possible.
Well, the two are happy and if you want to send a gift to Mr. and Mrs. Bruce Ferris, they are registered at Barnum and Bailey’s or Six Flags. Okay, that part I made up.