The 5 Worst Things About The Grocery Store

When you’re an adult there are a few things on your to-do list that are rather unpleasant.  One of them is going to the grocery store.  Another is listening to your 4^th grader practice his recorder for three consecutive hours.

I will never view hot cross buns the same ever again.

Shopping for groceries is one of the worst things on my to-do list, and I always avoid it if possible.  However, my husband is beginning to suspect I may not be allergic to the metal on the shopping carts, so I’ve had to step up my trips to the store.

I know I can’t be alone in my hatred of the grocery store (or “market” for those of you who shop at the fancy establishment that bags your groceries for you.)

Here are a few reasons I despise the grocery store.  Hopefully you can relate.  If not, please buy me a membership to a personal shopper program.  I hate bagging my own groceries.

1.  The picky shopper picking produce.

Who cares if it’s bruised?  Do you know what else is bruised?  My head from hitting it against the wall waiting for you to pick the right peach. You’re not picking a mate for life, you’re picking produce.  Choose some and go.

2.  Shin-bruises from the shopping cart.

I hurry through the store attempting to make the torture as short as possible, and in doing so I typically hit my shins on the bottom bar of the shopping cart.  I can only assume that bar is put there for the sole purpose of making my shopping experience even worse.

3.  I turn into the plant from Little Shop of Horrors.

I resist the urge to belt out “Feed me, Seymour” as I stockpile 100 calories packs.  You can eat five of those for a nice snack, right?

4.  They frown upon snacking mid-shopping.

If I’m going to shop I need sustenance to get through the trip.  If I’m surrounded by food, why wouldn’t I down a bag of chips and a Diet Coke?  I will (shamefully) place the empty containers on the conveyor belt so I don’t steal anything.  However, I take the judgmental stares for free.

5.  Getting judging looks from the bakery department when I take free samples.

Although I don’t have kids, I don’t think I should be discriminated against by not getting an appropriate amount of free samples.  After all, my muffin top suggests I’ve given birth to at least 3 children.

Who knows?  Maybe they’re in the cart on the other side of the store (preferably with an adult watching them.)

So hand over the cookies.  Would it kill the bakery worker to hook me up with a macadamia nut cookie?

Apparently it would.

There you have it; some of the many reasons I dislike going to the grocery store.  I assume you agree, and we can commiserate together.  If not, please leave your email address and I will send you my grocery list.