Why I can’t Be a Star in 50 Shades of Grey

shades of grayThe release of  50 Shades of Grey has the world all aflutter. Frankly, it wasn’t my favorite book. Hey, I’m no prude–sort of. Maybe I’m jealous because I know I couldn’t live in the world described in this book. “Why?” you ask…here is my short list of reasons of  why I can’t be a star in 50 Shades of Grey.


1.“I like Spanx” does not have the same meaning for me as it would for Christian Grey.

2. Taking food with me to bed is not about “Giving me some sugar.”   It’s literally about giving me some sugar.

3. Doing S & M stuff in a penthouse overlooking a glamorous city is somehow a little sexier than doing it in a four-bedroom split in suburban Philadelphia.

4. The only time I want a blindfold is right before the firing squad shoots

And finally:

5. Dog toys – sex toys: the eventual mix up would be a relationship killer.


If you want real advice on dating and sex, check out  eDating the Old School Way by Maura Stone eDatingcover

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14 thoughts on “Why I can’t Be a Star in 50 Shades of Grey”

  1. I totally agree with the Spanx. They’re torture to get in and out of as it is!!

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