Back Porch Ponderings

Sunrise on my back porch is my meditation time.  The following are examples of thoughts that run through my mind while I try and clear it of all debris.   

By: John W. Schulze

After watching the The People vs. OJ Simpson series, I think it’s imperative  someone write a book  “50 Ways to Get the Hell Off a Jury.”

Did you know that the foam that comes out of home fire extinguishers adds a comforting cloud-like mist to any kitchen décor? Too bad it doesn’t last.

If you see drivers on the road screaming, beating up their steering wheels and turning red with anger, it’s not because of gridlock or bad motorists. It is the new Apple iPhone upgrade that has screwed up virtually every car sync system in the world.

The same day the State Troopers call you for a donation for their association, the local police drive will call as well. Paranoia will force you to give to both because you know that whoever you don’t write a check to will find you the next day and give you a ticket.

There is a direct correlation between the number of Girl Scout cookies sold and the number of treadmills available at the gym.

And lastly,

Mean girls do not disappear with age. They just go through menopause and get meaner.

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8 thoughts on “Back Porch Ponderings”

  1. I think it’s best that I don’t give examples of the thoughts that run through my mind, Don Don’s. I refuse to be responsible for ruining people!

  2. I used to meditate on why the sun wasn’t up early in the morning, and then it dawned on me.

  3. Wow..that’s some meditation. And, eerily similar to my meditative state. Like, I wonder if I need to ask for an extension for tax return filing, and how many cups are in a quart, and wouldn’t dog poop make better compost than putting it in the trash can? This is how secrets of the universe are opened.

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