1. Everyone who is not rich knows that rich people are never happy. If rich people were happy, the rest of us would have nothing to use to make ourselves feel better about not being rich.
2. Those beautiful House and Garden homes never look like someone actually lives there. They look like the people who live there were expecting a House and Garden photographer to come by. It leaves us wondering what the place looks like after a couple of kids and a dog have been in it for five minutes.
3. Our Moms always told us that if we ignored someone who was bothering us, the person would get bored, stop and go away. I have tried that. It doesn’t work. Clobbering the moron with the nearest blunt object while screaming obscenities as loud as possible is more effective. You will end up in jail, but the obnoxious ass can’t bother you if you are safely behind bars.
4. Never take advice from someone who publishes Points to Remember. This person is more to be pitied than obeyed.
5. If you keep up a bad habit long enough, scientists will discover that it is healthy.
Kathy Minicozzi is the author of “Opera for People Who Don’t Like It,” available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle formats.