A Chicken Crosses a Road for a Reason | HumorOutcasts

A Chicken Crosses a Road for a Reason

March 25, 2018
By

An old joke, but let’s try to take it up a notch and tell the actual story… In the spirit of the joke, try to make it funny. Ready? Here goes:
Once and for all…

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

Writing Prompt by Damien Concordel

“This is the last time I do this,” muttered Herbie Roosterbutt. “I’m not a damned gofer!”

He had just donned his new pair of sneakers and left the nice, comfortable chicken house to trudge out here to the road. He left a whole brood of hens, some of whom had just recently laid eggs, while others were getting ready to do the same. One of the latter ladies, Ginny Lou, was having cravings. Tonight she just had to have some cherries Garcia ice cream so that she could dip her pickled almonds into it. Nothing else would do. He had to go to the 7-11 across the street and get some.

Herbie usually reveled in and bragged about his extensive harem, but tonight he would have given the business end of his beak to anyone who dared say anything to him about his wives. He wished he could divorce all of them. That would have meant having to divide up all of the property, however, and he wasn’t about to do that.

He looked to the left, then to the right, assured himself that the road was empty of speeding cars, and stepped onto the tarred pavement. He was halfway across the street when some idiot kid on a speeding bicycle bumped his tailfeathers and sent him sprawling and rolling the rest of the way across. The kid’s bicycle overturned and he, too, fell. Herbie got up, shook himself and shouted at the kid.

“Hey, Idiot! Watch where you’re going! You could have killed me!”

“Aw, shut up, you freakin’ pile of chicken shit!” shouted the kid, who was crying as he mounted his bicycle and rode away.

“Kids nowadays!” muttered Herbie as he shook himself again and headed for the 7-11.

In case you’re wondering, Herbie took a cab home from the store.

Kathy Minicozzi

Kathy Minicozzi is an opera singer turned aspiring writer, who lives somewhere in New York City. In other words, she's weird, but harmless. She is the author of "Opera for People Who Don't Like It," in which she turns the world of opera and its performers upside down while, at the same time, making it understandable to non-opera lovers and making everyone laugh.

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11 Responses to A Chicken Crosses a Road for a Reason

  1. Bill Y "The Legendary Legend" Ledden
    April 1, 2018 at 2:32 pm

    At last we have a believable answer to this question. Thanks Kathy.

  2. Peter Fay
    March 30, 2018 at 7:12 pm

    Dang it! Now I want ice cream, but not from 7-11 because they suck.

    • March 31, 2018 at 1:36 pm

      Just don’t send a chicken to buy it for you! 😀

      That doesn’t make sense, but neither does my story! LOL!

  3. S westly
    March 28, 2018 at 5:28 pm

    The only fulfilling answer to the chicken question is, and always will be, “To show the opossum that it could, in fact, be done.”

    • March 29, 2018 at 4:01 pm

      Did the ‘possum have to buy ice cream, too?

      😉

  4. March 26, 2018 at 6:31 pm

    Why did Herbie cross the road?
    His GPS was wrong.

    • March 26, 2018 at 9:48 pm

      Or maybe he just can’t read because … you know … he’s a chicken?

  5. March 26, 2018 at 8:40 am

    HA HA!! fun post !

    • March 26, 2018 at 2:25 pm

      Thanks! Writing prompts can be pretty inspiring sometimes. I couldn’t resist this one.

  6. Bill Spencer
    March 26, 2018 at 7:38 am

    I like how this story has many layers.



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