Winner, Winner, Turkey Dinner (you wish!) | HumorOutcasts

Winner, Winner, Turkey Dinner (you wish!)

November 16, 2018
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Well I’m sure that many of you runners and part-time runners have signed up to do a Turkey Trot next Thursday morning.

Well, good for you. You’ll be joining the thousands who, in hopes of burning off a few calories, will then feel firmly justified in stuffing their faces at the forthcoming feast.

Here’s the good news:

If you are going to be running a 5K race (most common distance for Turkey Trots) then, depending upon your weight, you’ll be burning somewhere between 300 and 350 calories. You think that sounds pretty good.

Here’s the bad news:

One piece of pumpkin pie (without the whipped cream) equals 300 calories.

One piece of pecan pie (again, without the whipped cream) equals 500 calories.

Two glasses of wine, around 500 calories!

The sad news is that, on average, a typical Thanksgiving dinner is going to be in the 3000 calorie range.

The average person needs around 1800 calories per day so, after stuffing yourself at the table, you’re now in a1200 calorie deficit, so, unless you ran a half marathon in the morning, you’re screwed!

So, enjoy your dinner on Thursday because come Friday, Saturday and Sunday you’ll need to another 5K each of those days just to catch up!

So, good luck with that.

(and don’t forget, those annual company Christmas parties are right around the corner)

Roger Hollis

Air Force veteran, a veteran of 30+ years in the corporate world. Published in Medical Devices magazine. Illustrator for "1000 Ways in 1000 Days" available on Amazon. Long time runner. Author of "Running Log" also available on Amazon

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2 Responses to Winner, Winner, Turkey Dinner (you wish!)

  1. November 19, 2018 at 9:45 pm

    Thank you. I prefer to live in denial. It’s more fun.

  2. November 16, 2018 at 8:36 am

    Party pooper! Ain’t nobody want to hear that.



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