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13 May, 2026
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“We changed the Terms & Conditions of the Trump Mobile Phone from “Made in the USA” to “Made up in the USA” and “refundable deposit” to “Later, losers.” This happened due to an unforeseen arrangement of words and is Biden’s fault. Instead of Siri, you get Stephen Miller and you can only text in CAPS. It also comes with 12 free pardons and “Biden’s Fault” wallpapers and ringtones.” – Donald Trump, maybe…
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Author: dmlotito

Dana is an English major at the college of William and Mary. She enjoys writing and reading, and always roots for the opposite sports team from that of her little brother. Her dream is to one day be a writer and marry a Frenchman who provides her a steady diet of Nutella.

Vacation with the Royal Goat: A Script

August 19, 2013August 19, 2013 dmlotito

Ever gone on family vacation? We have. Here is a script of what our morning looked like the day we left for a 10-day vacation to French Canada. It doesn’t need much introduction…. The eve […]

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5 CommentsFictioncanada, Car, family, French, goat, pillows, raccoons, script, Vacation

The Family, Genus, and Species of the Ad World and Why I No Longer Have to Deal With It

August 1, 2013June 24, 2015 dmlotito

Recently, I had a friend visit who had graduated with a minor in computer science. In exchange for lodging in my home, I handed him my computer and basically demanded he do fancy things, like […]

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1 CommentFictionads, belly fat, blocker, chrome, facebook, Google, russian girls

What It Means to Be an American

July 21, 2013July 21, 2013 dmlotito

On my brief hiatus, that I will disguise using the word “hiatus” and not the words “time when I did nothing but work and had nothing to say,” I thought much about what it means […]

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6 CommentsFiction, UncategorizedAmerican, brother, chicken fingers, family, jokes, North Korea

From Con Artist Kid to Nanny

July 3, 2013 dmlotito

I am a full time nanny for the second summer in a row. And as summer jobs go, it’s pretty good. I get paid and don’t have to, you know, give any money back to […]

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2 CommentsFictionbabysitting, chuckie cheese, job, kids, nanny, vitamins

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