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Author: Eric Hetvile

Wanted in 14 states. But those states suck, anyway.

More Realistic Country Songs: Blake Shelton’s “God Gave Me You”

October 19, 2011October 19, 2011 Eric Hetvile

I keep hearing country songs from men about how great their women are. Yet all the country songs from women are about how bad them men are. Let’s splash some realism on Blake Shelton’s “God […]

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5 CommentsFiction

Huge Bachmann Gaffe

October 19, 2011 Eric Hetvile

During tonight’s Republican debate, Michele Bachmann made a disastrous gaffe which will almost certainly cost her large amounts of Republican votes. She pronounced “nuclear” correctly. The damage is assumed to be irreparable.

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2 CommentsDaily Musings / Joke of The Day, Politics

Wyatt Derp

October 12, 2011 Eric Hetvile

I was flipping through the channels last night looking to see if the Republican Debate was on somewhere. I figured I’d try Fox News. Nope, no debate. But there was a BREAKING NEWS mass hysteria […]

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Daily Musings / Joke of The Day, Politics

Beep

October 11, 2011 Eric Hetvile

I’m not the kind of person who uses his car horn. For whatever reason, I just never use it. I guess I’ve always felt that people who use it are kind of annoying. In fact, […]

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2 CommentsDaily Musings / Joke of The Day

How Dumb is Rick Perry?

October 10, 2011 Eric Hetvile

Ann Richards famously said of the elder George Bush that he was born on third base and thought he hit a triple. Rick Perry, on the other hand, was only born on second base but […]

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2 CommentsDaily Musings / Joke of The Day, Politics

How Will History View Steve Jobs?

October 6, 2011October 6, 2011 Eric Hetvile

Sure, today many are mourning the loss of Steve Jobs, innovator and visionary. But what if years from now, history has a completely different view of Steve Jobs? “Back in the 2000s, some people actually […]

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4 CommentsDaily Musings / Joke of The Day, Technologyhistory, steve jobs

Hitler Analogy Checklist

October 5, 2011October 5, 2011 Eric Hetvile

You may appropriately use an analogy to compare someone to Hitler if: A) They were responsible for at least 6 million murders. or B) They have a really silly moustache. If you cannot answer “Yes” […]

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2 CommentsDaily Musings / Joke of The Day, Politics

Alzheimer’s: Blessing in Disguise?

September 16, 2011 Eric Hetvile

Pat Robertson made news recently for suggesting that it was OK to divorce your wife if she has Alzheimer’s disease. I personally feel he’s overlooking the benefits of being married to someone suffering from such […]

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5 CommentsDaily Musings / Joke of The Day

Reason #312 that Rick Perry Is An Idiot

September 2, 2011 Eric Hetvile

He thinks that an 8 year old boy is smart enough to know whether evolution is occurring, but he doesn’t think an adult woman knows that she has gone somewhere to get an abortion.

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2 CommentsPolitics

Recent Tragedies: Analyzing the Data

August 24, 2011 Eric Hetvile

2001: 9/11: 3000 dead 2005: Hurricane Katrina: 1800 dead 2011: Virginia earthquake: Hundreds of startled pets After examining the data, Pat Robertson was quoted as saying, “I have to admit, it looks like God seems […]

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2 CommentsDaily Musings / Joke of The Day

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