George and Max
George’s time on earth had come to an end, and he slowly materialized at the pearly gates. “So…I’ve finally come to see the Big Dog.” “Yes, welcome to heaven. You’ll see him soon.” George looked […]
Author: Eric Hetvile
Wanted in 14 states. But those states suck, anyway.
Smartest People On Earth
Aliens are listening in on us. They have been doing decades of research to determine exactly which earthlings possess the greatest intelligence on the planet. Once this is determined, they will begin the process of […]
How Many Children Should You Have?
Some things are good to plan in advance. Let’s review this handy birthing chart. If you are planning child number 19 in expectation of getting your own reality show like the Duggars…give it up because […]
Cain Blames Perry
A defiant Herman Cain accused his rival, Texas Governor Rick Perry, of orchestrating a smear campaign to destroy his presidential candidacy. It is a pretty complicated plot, but it seems to have involved inventing a […]
Tebow Trivia
Recently it was revealed that Tim Tebow plays football wearing a towel that is made from parts of Filipino children he helped circumcise. Yes, it’s true. He figured it would be good for them to […]
When Nature Calls
I am a regular guy. And by that, I mean that I “go” pretty regularly. I eat lunch at around noon and then I, um, usually need to visit my secondary office at around 2pm […]