WalMart math
I’d rather eat my own spleen than make a trip to WalMart. Like most of my fellow Americans, I dislike it so much because of the weirdos there (present company excluded) and the fact that […]
Author: Journey McGuire
When I'm not MMA street fighting, I'm saving kittens from sinking battleships. Writing is the only thing that matters. Besides sleeping, eating, kittens. But not eating sleeping kittens. That would be upsetting.
Monsters in the closet
I’ve never been a very brave person, or even remotely brave actually. Let’s just go ahead and call me what I am; a weenie. I freak out about spiders, unexplained noises, ghosts, and hanging my […]
Oh baby, are we bad
When people say that humans are mostly good, I can’t help but think that they’ve never watched babies play. You can tell a lot about humans by observing the newest, most innocent, utterly unsullied additions […]
Conversations with my son
A few of the exchanges I’ve had with my kiddo…. The boy: What’s a mammogram? Me: It’s where they put your boob in a vice and squish it up and down, then sideways to see […]
The kids aren’t alright
I find myself to be continually stunned with the lack of imagination in kids these days. I just said kids these days. I have officially become an adult. My parents said this would happen. I […]
You’ll Die. Period.
This is the true story of a very heartwarming moment I had with my dad when I was twelve. He doesn’t like me to tell this story because he doesn’t want it revealed to the […]
The kitten chronicles
Over the past couple of months, I’ve had a lot of spare time to reflect on my life and really think about what it is I want to do with it. If money were no […]
The cat burglars of Walnut Street
This is the story about my involvement in a cat burglary. Literally. I feel obligated to preface this confession with the announcement that my mother is in no way affiliated with nor an advocate of […]
The trouble with humor…
Humor can be a shaky thing. When writing it, you’ve got to be at peace with the fact that you’re going to piss people off. When speaking it, you should be prepared to duck. Condemnation […]
Practical space travel
You can tell alot about a person by what they take to space. The first time I met my son, he proposed the following question to me: “If you’re getting on a spaceship, and you […]