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Author: Journey McGuire

When I'm not MMA street fighting, I'm saving kittens from sinking battleships. Writing is the only thing that matters. Besides sleeping, eating, kittens. But not eating sleeping kittens. That would be upsetting.

Balancing heaven and hell

November 14, 2014November 14, 2014 Journey McGuire

It’s hell being a writer stuck in a cube dweller’s body. Today I had to drag my cold, stiff corpse up to the computer desk to regain some semblance of life by doing something creative. […]

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7 CommentsEveryday Lifedodging bird shit, office drone, soul sucking work, writing, writing badly

The too convenient convenience store

October 16, 2014October 16, 2014 Journey McGuire

Last week, while making my usual stop at the convenience store, I spied a tiny Yorkie in the truck parked next to me. She was the cutest of all cuties that had ever cutied before. […]

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3 CommentsEveryday Lifeillegal aliens, stranger sex, yorkies

The Phoenix rises from the pee sea

September 24, 2014 Journey McGuire

It’s been several months since I’ve posted to my favorite humor site, but I’m back and better than ever. A lot has happened in the past few months, including, but not limited to: Starting a […]

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2 CommentsEveryday Life

Love is a terrible reason to get married

May 28, 2014 Journey McGuire

Recently my husband and I celebrated one whole year of marital bliss. Reaching this rather tiny benchmark made me contemplate the reasons people get married and what it takes to make a marriage work. And […]

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4 CommentsEveryday Lifebad reasons to get married, crime shows, husbands, Like, love, marital bliss, wives, wood chippers

The Doppelganger Effect

May 4, 2014 Journey McGuire

At some point in your life, you’ve probably been told you look like someone else. I guess there are just so many combinations nature can make before, inevitably, some people share similarities in the way […]

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14 CommentsEveryday LifeBen Affleck, doppelgangers, Julia Roberts, Sarah Palin, Temple Grandin, Tina Fey

Free wisdom, by Jim

May 1, 2014 Journey McGuire

My dad stops by almost every morning to have a cup of coffee and enlighten me on some matter of life, whether it be how they manufacture bolts, to how to study for a test, […]

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6 CommentsEveryday Lifecannon vaginas, cute baby pigs, dads, farm animals, fully operational babies, how bolts are made, how to lose your soul, pigs, soulless, studying for tests, wisdom

Society dismembered

April 27, 2014 Journey McGuire

The other day I was spying on my niece and her friend while playing with Barbie dolls. I wanted to make sure they were playing nice, and they were. Creepily so. They were polite, giggling, […]

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16 CommentsFiction

Finally, a morning win

April 25, 2014April 25, 2014 Journey McGuire

I watch a lot of crappy commercials all day long, being a lady of leisure and all. These commercials are engineered toward stay at home moms mostly, and the majority are completely off the mark. […]

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8 CommentsEveryday Lifealley cats in heat, bad advertising, commercials, horny women

The taming of the garage

April 23, 2014April 23, 2014 Journey McGuire

About every two weeks, my husband and I engage in the black hole of house projects; we clean the garage. Again. Once we get it spotless, it seems overnight it gets overrun with pizza boxes, […]

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10 CommentsEveryday Lifeharmony, marital bliss, Mr. Nobody, true love, winning, working together

What lies beneath

April 22, 2014April 22, 2014 Journey McGuire

Recently I got the rare honor of spending the day with my adorable little baby niece. When my mother called and asked me if I could watch her, I thought, well hell yes. She’s cute, […]

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10 CommentsEveryday Lifebabies, children, epic poops, Jimmy Hoffa

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