Phrases
Why do we call really late at night the “wee morning hours”? First of all, the word “wee” suggests a size. Time has no size. It has a duration. “Wee” could apply to the size of […]
Author: PFHardie
I am a graphic designer, humour writer, musician and piano teacher. And that's only during the day. At night I fight crime and hang out with my wonderful family.
What Women Want
Welcome, gentlemen. Welcome to the first annual What Women Want Conference. As you’ve all sworn on your conference pre-check forms, you are the group of men who believe it’s fine and dandy to touch a woman’s breasts […]
Soft Skills
What are soft skills? I’m suppose to improve my soft skills, but does that mean turn them into something softer, like a comfortable 3-ply roll of toilet paper? Or should I beat the crap out […]
Free Range Chicken
If some chicken is free range chicken, shouldn’t all the other chicken be called prisoner cell chicken, or jailbird chicken? Did jailbird chickens break some law? I wonder how many innocent chickens have been convicted and executed. Were they read there […]
To the Moon and Back, Alice
Ever notice how people like to use the moon to measure things on earth? Here’s an interesting fact I read: if you lay out all the yoyo string on the planet in a straight line, […]
Stop Speaking Infantish
For goodness sake, if you want to train your dog properly, stop speaking infantish to him. Your dog is not a human infant. The reason we talk googly to infants is that we are training them early on […]
Can’t Find the Words
Why is childish a word, but we can’t say infantish, adultish or seniorish? At this stage in my life, I ping-pong between infantish and seniorish. Often at the same time, too, like when I forget the nipple on my beer bottle and I soak my […]
Vote For Ron
I love reading about physics, but boy, some of it is pretty mysterious. Who’s Ron, for instance? And why should I vote for him? Sean Carroll, my favourite physicist, keeps saying “elect Ron” this and […]
Blind Date
What happens when two blind people go on a date? Is that called a blind date? It can’t be. Based on that criteria, we would have to call regular dating sight dating. The blind part refers to the fact that you […]