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Awkward Priest

July 29, 2011
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Summer is good and bad. The “good” is going to the beach, eating ice cream when it’s hot, swimming in the pool and playing outdoors. The “bad,” as an adult at least, is that it…

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Eric Preet’s Week of Sins: Friday

July 29, 2011
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I AWOKE IN THE gutter outside a cake shop. With her money, Bounteous Brenda hadn’t exactly been forthcoming. But with her body, well, she had been absolutely fifthcoming. Let’s just say that was a night…

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Footprints, Part 2

July 29, 2011
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I think most people have heard of Footprints. It’s a short inspirational piece that chronicles a man’s life by following his footprints. Jesus’s footprints run alongside of the man’s. The man sees that during the…

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Remote Control Driving: Is it Really Safe?

July 29, 2011
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Remote Control Driving: Is it Really Safe?

Some car companies sell fear, and this sales pitch works.  What happens if you get in an accident? Or what happens if you have a flat tire? Or what happens if some maniac with a…

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Ground Zero YMCA

July 29, 2011
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In a time and place not too far from here: “It’s been nine years since the radical Christian terrorist group, “Heaven’s Hate”, destroyed the National Institute of Science. Countless lives were lost that day. A…

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Shoot Out at the J Lazy P

July 28, 2011
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Shoot Out at the J Lazy P

“Damn it Jackson, hold that bastard down!”    Coot tied a quick half hooey and put the J Lazy G brand on the calf. Cooter T. Barneson was the ranch boss at the J Lazy G.  He worked the…

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Rick Perry’s Day of Prayer and Fasting

July 28, 2011
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The company that runs the concessions at Houston’s Reliant Stadium was overjoyed that Rick Perry was going to be bringing thousands to his stadium for a day of prayer and fasting. Until someone told him…

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Alien Life: You Wanna Bet?

July 28, 2011
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Alien Life: You Wanna Bet?

The longer the odds, the farther they jump. This is the story of many when it comes to wagering.  Some people will bet on anything with or without a pulse if there are good odds…

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Eric Preet’s Week of Sins: Thursday

July 28, 2011
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BROMLEY! THE SORT of sleepy suburbia that should be the bed-manufacturing capital of the world. I was going to claim what was rightfully mine. I rang the doorbell and got no response. I pressed harder.…

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Jesus Upset About Reduced Facebook Glory

July 27, 2011
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Jesus, in a recent exclusive interview, expressed disappointment about reduced mentions on Facebook. “Sure, in the beginning of Facebook, it was Jesus-this and Jesus-that. People were posting status messages about me and then others were…

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The Gonadi Tribe

July 27, 2011
By

Deep in the remote western corner of Zimbabwe , a native tribe continues to live as they have for more than 1000 years. They are the Gonadi tribe, and their daily worship and even entire…

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Some atheists need religion

July 27, 2011
By

When Thomas Jefferson made damn sure we knew that the First Amendment built “a wall of separation between Church & State,” he did it so we wouldn’t allow those two in a room together, because,…

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Ode to Life, or “It is What It Is”

July 27, 2011
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Ode to Life, or “It is What It Is”

Do not cry for me when I am gone Instead drink wine and fill the room with song For I’ve lived the life I was given Even though I have done some things wrong And…

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Chernobyl

July 27, 2011
By

 I wonder if the teams in the Russian Soccer league hate playing the Chernobyl Fallouts, because they can’t score on a goalie with five arms.

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Denny’s

July 27, 2011
By

I don’t tip waitresses at Denny’s, because I’m afraid they won’t be able to get back up.

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Fungus is Not Just for People Anymore

July 27, 2011
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Fungus is Not Just for People Anymore

Fungus is not anyone’s friend – unless of course, it is in the form of a shiitake mushroom– but as a rule, fungus is not a positive thing.  Humans are always fighting fungal infections from…

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Sitcom commitment

July 27, 2011
By

The sit-com,Men R from Mars/Women R from Venus, has been cancelled for lack of commitment by one of the parties

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Traffic and Twitter

July 27, 2011
By

A traffic jam is simply a sign from the universe for you to tweet.

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Eric Preet’s Week of Sins: Wednesday

July 27, 2011
By

I WAS IN PRISON for the whole of Wednesday. Prisoners were allowed newspapers and I speed-read the front page headline: ‘Wotta Lot o’ Lotto!’ Huh. Another undeserving lottery millionaire. Why couldn’t I get a look…

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Technology and Kids

July 26, 2011
By

Thanks to technology, my kids will never have to grow up with the hardships I faced, like having to steal CDs from an actual store, meeting people face to face, or most importantly, having to…

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Guy Compliments that Cause Trouble

July 26, 2011
By

The awkward moment when you tell a guy friend he’s pretty and then sneeze. But you meant to say “pretty smart.”

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How to Write and Share Humor
By Donna Cavanagh Published by HumorOutcasts Press

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Rats, Mice, And Other Things You Can't Take to The Bank: An Inspirational Collection of Essays from Humorous to Simply Human
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