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Tag: Savior

Stepdad Tells Baby Jesus to Quit His Crying or He’ll Give Him Something to Cry About

December 4, 2013December 4, 2013 Eric Hetvile

After years of the hearing about all of the things that make the baby Jesus cry, stepfather Joseph has reportedly broken his silence and laid down the law. “Seriously, kid. Crying again? Gay marriage…Violence on […]

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2 CommentsFictionbaby jesus cries, God, joseph, mary, Savior

Jesus Tired of Our Crap, Cancels Second Coming, Would Not Sacrifice Again

April 17, 2013 Eric Hetvile

Jesus announced yesterday that he’s had enough. He is tired of earth’s crap and he’s canceled his second coming indefinitely. “Look, I had a bad feeling about this way back when I agreed to be […]

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1 CommentFictionEarth, God, Jesus, redeemer, Savior, Second Coming, sick, sins, world

Jesus Horrified to Learn that He Received Lord & Savior Job Due To Nepotism

March 28, 2013 Eric Hetvile

Recently, Jesus sat down for a heartfelt talk with Katie Couric where he spoke candidly on a broad range of topics, including politics, literature, music, and the environment. The most startling exchange, though, occurred when […]

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2 CommentsLifestylecross, disciples, God, Jesus, Katie Couric, last supper, lord, pat robertson, Savior

The Savior

April 26, 2011April 27, 2011 Eric Hetvile

“Master, we have followed you for years, when will we experience this Kingdom of which you speak?” “Yeah, are we going to get castles?” “And servants! I want some servants…” “My children, we are building […]

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2 CommentsLifestylebeer, believers, Jesus, kingdom, Savior

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