Coffee, salad dressing, ketchup and marinara sauce are all programmed to seek out your white blouse and kill it.
The year you have a big tax refund due you is the year you will put off doing your taxes until the last minute.
Never rinse out an opened cat food can by using your fingers.
Night of the Living Dead is not the best choice for a movie to watch just before you go to bed.
Never try to tease a cat. There will be a whimpering, bloody mess on the floor, and it won’t be the cat.
Make sure you know what you are saying before you try speaking in a foreign language to a native speaker. Ignore this advice, and you will have only yourself to blame if you become an object of humiliating hilarity for the rest of your life. (“You said ficken! Bwaaaaahahahahaha!”)
Always return library books on time. You don’t know what germs might be incubating on them. You can probably get the same books on Kindle, anyway.
If you give someone advice about germs, try to make sense.
Don’t pay attention to chain emails or the sweet, well-meaning, superstitious friends who send them. If your luck then turns sour because you broke the chain, just wear a little horn-shaped pendant and it will be all better.
I had to pay a fine on an overdue library book all about Speed Reading. True! Life can be funnier than fiction.
Now THAT’S funny!
What’s a library? Only kidding. Fun list.
A library is that place where we used to go to find books and reference stuff before the internet became popular and Kindles were invented.
If I may be so bold to add one of my own Kathy: Never learn music because you’ll realize that the tripe that Bon Jovi produce is anything but music and you’ll never get a good nights sleep again because of it and you’ll go mad and never win the lotto and develop a sense of humor that only a mother could love and stuff.
That’s a good one. I should have thought of it. I guess I don’t hate Bon Jovi enough, probably because I never listened to him much. I’m a Billy Joel fan myself. I tend to just ignore the performers who don’t turn me on and pretend they don’t exist.